


Silence is murder

by SmolSpideyBoi



Series: Ollie's angst collection [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Lucifer Redemption, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24088018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSpideyBoi/pseuds/SmolSpideyBoi
Summary: Sam Winchester breaks so gorgeously, so tragically beautiful. He was made for this, for Shakespearean tragedy. He was never made, never meant to have a happy ending.
Relationships: Lucifer/Sam Winchester
Series: Ollie's angst collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706029
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	Silence is murder

**Author's Note:**

> Back on my bullshit yall  
> Beware this shit is fucking heartwrenching angst with a light sprinkle of comfort

People often argue that the noise itself is terrifying. They whisper about what went bump in the night, what went stalking through the woods. They're wrong. 

It's the silence that gets to you. When you've spent your entire life surrounded by people talking, moving, making some kind of noise. But when all you can hear are your own thoughts? That, that is the epitome of fear. When everyone else is asleep, and you're still awake, when the walls seem to creep closer and closer, when the door seems farther and farther away, that is when you'll truly know fear. And Sam has known fear his entire life.

Fear is the reason why Lucifer won. And all he had to do was promise to make it stop. Promise Sam that he'd never be alone again, that he'd never be left in the resounding silence of his mind. Because both Sam and Lucifer know that the true horror comes from the mind and that the true monsters come from within. Despite what the angel's said, Lucifer was not cruel or evil. He never left Sam by himself, never let him suffer. Lucifer might despise humanity, but he could never despise Sam. Samuel was an exquisite creature, one that he considered himself lucky to know. Even as broken as he was, Sam was ethereal in his beauty in Lucifer's eyes.

After a few months of being Lucifer's vessel, Samuel began to change. His hair gradually darkened to a shade of brown so dark it was almost black, and the hazel in his eyes brightened to rose gold highlighted by the ring of soft, pale blue.  _ "Gorgeous." _ Lucifer hummed in his ear because Sam was his, and his only. His to love, his to cherish, his to own  _ and his to hate, his to hurt, his to destroy, his to break. And Samuel broke so beautifully, so exquisitely, so tortuously delicate underneath the devil’s hands _ . The darker(er) part of him whispered

Lucifer focuses his attention once again on the outside world, and feels the snap of an angel's bones. He can feel Sam shuddering, can feel the waves of fear being pushed out. Because Sam is always afraid it's going to be him next, that he's only a step away from torture or death. Lucifer stands up, demons scattering away from him "Leave us," he commands, voice sharp. He steps into Sam’s mind, into the space the hunter created for himself, and he’s not surprised at all when he finds Sam in Dean’s room, conversing with the ghost of Dean’s memory. When Dean abruptly fades, Lucifer knows that Sam knows he’s here. “Samuel,” he begins “Sam,” Sam raises a hand “It’s Sam, not Samuel, not Samantha and most definitely not Sammy.” Sam chokes out, nails biting into his palms. “Sam,” Lucifer begins again, “I’m not going to hurt you, I won’t hurt you, not again, not ever.” he whispers, gathering Sam’s tear-streaked face in his palms. “I love you,” he whispers, burying his nose in Sam’s hair and inhaling the warm, comforting scent of Sam “I love you so very much.” Sam sniffles “Then why did you hurt me, why did you break me.” Lucifer tenses ever so slightly and draws Sam up into his arms “I hurt you, I broke you only for my own selfish reasons. I decided that if you wouldn’t love me, you would love no one else, and for that, beloved, I will never forgive myself.” Sam sniffles again, pressing his cheek to Lucifer’s chest and listening to his heartbeat. “I may not act like it, I may not show it, but I love you, I love you and I forgive you.” Sam mouths wetly against his chest. “I love you too, Sam.” He replies with a rare smile only shown around Sam gracing his lips. Because he was broken until Sam let him in, until he saw the world through Sam’s eyes and felt with Sam’s heart, humanity was a curse, a blight to be swept from the earth. But then he began to feel. He felt so vastly that seeing a flower had made him cry, and the smell of coffee made him smile. Because humans felt so much all the time, they felt so rawly that they could weep upon seeing rain. Because that’s what made humanity so beautiful, so different. 

It's what makes Sam so brokenly gorgeous, so gorgeously broken.


End file.
